Giving Trees

by Julie Neumark

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1.
03:29
We spend our days Filling the void, desperate to prove ourselves So we can be happy We spend our nights Gripping the glass, numbing away the pain But where is the happy? I can see it Like a light Can almost reach it If I try – a little harder Happy – I’ll give ‘em a smile, they will believe I’m Happy – Just like the rest I’ll be Happy - Don’t have to feel anything real just Happy – Happy, so happy The pressure mounts I’m playing the game So savvy at looking like I’m someone who’s happy Just a little more Convincing myself that I’ve almost reached the place Where I can be happy Pre-chorus: I can see it Like a light Can almost reach it If I try – a little harder Happy – I’ll give ‘em a smile, they will believe I’m Happy – Just like the rest I’ll be Happy - Don’t have to feel anything real just Happy – Happy, so happy
2.
TICK TOCK WHEN THE RECORD STOPS THE SOUND I STILL HEAR THE NEEDLE SCRATCHING AROUND A KID FLIES A KITE OUTSIDE AND YOU CAN TELL IT’S SUMMERTIME THE ICE CREAM TRUCK CHIMES ARE OUT OF TUNE IT KEEPS GOING ON AND ON SUBTLE CHANGES MAKE A BRAND NEW SONG THAT I’M GONNA PLAY MAYBE YOU THINK I’M WRONG I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT TRIP YOU’RE ON AT THE END OF IT ALL WE ARE THE SAME WAKE UP IN THE SPRING OF ‘75 LIFE LOOKS KINDA BLURRY BEHIND BLUE EYES SMILE WHILE YOU DO THE DANCE VICTIM OF YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE UNTIL POLYESTER PANTS GO OUT OF STYLE IT KEEPS GOING ON AND ON SUBTLE CHANGES MAKE A BRAND NEW SONG THAT I’M GONNA PLAY MAYBE YOU THINK I’M WRONG I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT TRIP YOU’RE ON AT THE END OF IT ALL WE ARE THE SAME WE ARE TOGETHER WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER YA, WE’LL STAY TOGETHER WE’RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER, WE’RE THE SAME WE ARE THE SAME YA, WE’RE THE SAME WE ARE THE SAME FOR LIFE IT KEEPS GOING ON AND ON SUBTLE CHANGES MAKE A BRAND NEW SONG THAT I’M GONNA PLAY MAYBE YOU THINK I’M WRONG I DON’T REALLY CARE WHAT TRIP YOU’RE ON AT THE END OF IT ALL WE ARE THE SAME
3.
THERE’S A LITTLE BIRD WHO SINGS TO THE MOON CHEERFULLY, WITH GUSTO, BELTING OUT A HAPPY TUNE NEVER HOLDING BACK UNTIL THE MOON IS GONE ALONE IN HER CONVICTION, GROWING SILENT WITH THE DAWN I WILL STAND BY YOU ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT INTO THE MORNING YOU ARE NOT ALONE JUST TAKE MY HAND AND WE WILL WALK ALONG TOGETHER HIGH ABOVE THE TREES, A LONG, LONG WAY FROM EARTH MOTHER NATURE’S CHANDELIER IS ALWAYS GIVING BRITH SHOOTING STARS AND SPARKLY THINGS MANIFESTING CHILDHOOD DREAMS WANTING TO KNOW EVERYTHING, IS ANYBODY LISTENING? ‘CAUSE I WOULD WALK A MILLION MILES JUST TO FEEL WHAT’S REAL INSIDE YOU PLEASE DON’T SHUT ME OUT ‘CAUSE I’LL NEVER TURN BACK NOW YES, I WILL STAND BY YOU ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT INTO THE MORNING YOU ARE NOT ALONE JUST TAKE MY HAND AND WE WILL WALK ALONG TOGETHER FOREVER AFTER
4.
I CANNOT BREATHE, I CANNOT SLEEP I MEDITATE WHILE COUNTING SHEEP EVERY NOW AND THEN I THINK OF YOU YOU ARE THE EYE INSIDE MY STORM IF I WERE COLD YOU'D BE MY WARM EVERY NOW AND THEN I THINK OF YOU IF YOU COULD SEE ME THE WAY THAT I SEE YOU THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST HOW I WANT IT TO UNTIL YOU DO, I WILL THINK OF YOU THE WAY YOUR SINGING GOES OFF KEY IS IRRESISTIBLE TO ME IT MAKES ME LAUGH WHEN I THINK OF YOU YOU HIDE BEHIND A GREAT BIG SMILE WHEN YOU'RE EMBARRASSED LIKE A CHILD I FALL IN LOVE WHEN I THINK OF YOU IF YOU COULD SEE ME THE WAY THAT I SEE YOU THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST HOW I WANT IT TO UNTIL YOU DO, I WILL THINK OF YOU LYING AWAKE IN MY BED I THINK OF YOU LYING NEXT TO MY HEAD ALL OF THESE FEELINGS RUN THEIR COURSE INTO A PARALYZING FORCE IT BREAKS MY HEART WHEN I THINK OF YOU I CANNOT STOP, I CANNOT GO I WONDER IF I'LL EVER KNOW IF YOU THINK OF ME, LIKE I THINK OF YOU IF YOU COULD SEE ME THE WAY THAT I SEE YOU THEN EVERYTHING WOULD BE JUST HOW I WANT IT TO UNTIL YOU DO, I WILL THINK OF YOU
5.
04:02
ONCE UPON A TIME I DARED TO DREAM A DREAM MY CHILDHOOD EYES COULD ONLY SEE LIGHT AND POSSIBILITY A COLD VOICE TOLD ME, “NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY” BUT I AM DEAF TO WHAT THEY SAY I KNOW I’LL FIND MY WAY SUPERFICIAL PLEASANTRIES KEEP ON KNOCKING AT MY DOOR TAKE ME OUT AT THE KNEES BUT I GET UP FOR MORE (AND NOW I’M) STANDING ALONE LOOKING AROUND AND WHAT DO I SEE? THERE’S NO ONE HERE BUT ME IN A BARREN FIELD OF GIVING TREES I’M STACKING STONES TAKING COVER FROM MYSELF I’LL BUILD A WALL TO KEEP OUT EVERYBODY ELSE WILL ANYBODY NOTICE? WHEN I CRACK AND THE WALL COMES CRASHING DOWN PIECES OF MY HEART WILL BE FOUND LIKE WRECKAGE IN THE OCEAN SUPERFICIAL PLEASANTRIES KEEP ON KNOCKING AT MY DOOR TAKE ME OUT AT THE KNEES BUT I GET UP FOR MORE (AND NOW I’M) STANDING ALONE LOOKING AROUND AND WHAT DO I SEE? THERE’S NO ONE HERE BUT ME I'M STANDING ALONE LOOKING AROUND AND WHAT DO I SEE? THE GIRL I USED TO BE IN A BARREN FIELD OF GIVING TREES CRAWL UP INSIDE STAY A WHILE I DON’T WANT TO OPEN MY EYES BECAUSE I'M STANDING ALONE LOOKING AROUND AND WHAT DO I SEE? THE GIRL I USED TO BE I'M STANDING ALONE LOOKING AROUND AND WHAT DO I SEE? THERE’S NO ONE HERE BUT ME IN A BARREN FIELD OF GIVING TREES
6.
It's an illusion The game we play My evolution Is being delayed Please don't waste my time I gotta get up, get out, get on with my life Gotta get up, get out, get on with my life So, come on, get on, I gotta decide if I Wanna stay on your ride Sick and tired of hiding (gettin', gettin' on, go on, get out) The way I feel (gettin', gettin' on, go on, get out) I wanna let it all hang out (gettin', gettin' on, go on, get out) For the world to see (gettin', gettin' on, go on, get out) Nice girls never find Instrumental break Please don't waste my time, no! I gotta get up, get out, get on with my life Gotta get up, get out, get on with my life So, come on, get on, I gotta decide Gotta get up get on, get out, get on, get up, get out, get on, get on, get up Unless I Wanna stay on your ride
7.
02:10
AS LONG AS I LIVE, I’LL NEVER GO THERE AGAIN BITTERSWEET WAYS OF MY PAST AND THOUGH I NEVER KNOW IF YOU WILL TRUST ME AGAIN I WILL GIVE YOU MY WORD, IT’S ALL I HAVE THERE’S AN ACHE IN MY HEART AND A WEIGHT ON MY MIND EVERY TIME THAT OUR PROMISES BREAK THERE’S NO ROADMAP TO SAVE US FROM LOSIN’ OUR WAY BUT IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR WORD, I WILL TAKE IT YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING BUT IF I LEAVE YOU CAN BET WE’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING AND WHEN I’M LEAVIN’ AGAIN IT HURTS TO THINK WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN IF OUR LOVE’S NOT ENOUGH, DO WE KEEP HOLDIN’ ON? HOW MANY BREAKS CAN A HEART REALLY STAND? SO MY PROMISE TO YOU IS TO DO ALL I CAN DO AND I’LL GIVE YOU MY WORD, IT’S ALL I HAVE
8.
ONE MORE NIGHT SO YOU'RE LOOKIN' OUT YOUR WINDOW AND YOU'RE WONDERIN' WHAT ALL THE PEOPLE SAY NOTHING EVER FEELS THE SIMPLE WHEN YOUR WHOLE LIFE FEELS LIKE A BRAND NEW DAY EVERY DAY YOU SAY YOU'RE NOT CUTE ENOUGH, SMART ENOUGH, THIN ENOUGH, STRONG ENOUGH TO RULE THE WORLD THAT YOU'RE LIVIN' IN - YOU'RE A FOOL TEMPTATION IS BEGGIN' YOU TO GET TOGETHER AND PROMISIN' THAT YOU WILL FEEL SO MUCH BETTER IF YOU DO YOU GOTTA HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT WHEN THE MORNING COMES, YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE FEELIN' NOT SO STRONG, JUST HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT ONCE UPON A TIME LIFE WAS ALL ABOUT THE HIGH HOOK UP, TAKE OFF, YOU WERE FLYIN' FOR A WHILE NOW YOU'RE LOOKIN' AROUND BOTH FEET ON THE GROUND WITH FOOTSTEPS TO FOLLOW YOU JUST WANT TO SHOUT GOD, PLEASE GET ME OUT AND INTO TOMORROW YOU GOTTA HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT WHEN THE MORNING COMES, YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE FEELIN' NOT SO STRONG, JUST HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT NIGHT, FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY NIGHT, COME TO ME - COME TO ME - COME TO ME Whistling break YOU CANNOT PRESS REWIND BUT THE CLOCK YOU'RE ON ONLY MOVES A SECOND AT A TIME TAKE IT SLOW, BABE YOU'LL MAKE IT THROUGH TODAY YOU GOTTA HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT WHEN THE MORNING COMES, YOU'LL BE ALRIGHT HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT WHEN YOU'RE FEELIN' NOT SO STRONG, JUST HOLD ON FOR ONE MORE NIGHT
9.
I DON’T WANNA WRITE ANOTHER SAD SONG SO LONG BE BIG, BE STRONG REALITY GONE WRONG POOR ME, POOR YOU I DON’T WANNA WRITE ANOTHER LOVESICK, LOVESONG THINK I GOT ENOUGH OF THOSE, LET’S NOT PROLONG HAVING THE BLUES SO LET’S JUST DANCE AND WAVE OUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR LAUGHING SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS LET’S BE WEIRDOS, SHAKE IT FREE WITHOUT A CARE CAUSE THAT IS WAY MORE FUN THAN ALL YOUR WORRIES UNDERNEATH THE SUN SICK OF BEING SO SERIOUS ALL THE TIME SELF-DISCOVERY NEEDS A GLASS OF WINE PLEASE, POUR ME TWO DON’T TELL ME I CAN’T TAKE CARE OF ME 15 YEARS I SPENT IN THERAPY SHOULD PAY OFF SOON (BUT IN THE MEANTIME) SO LET’S JUST DANCE AND WAVE OUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR LAUGHING SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS LET’S BE WEIRDOS, SHAKE IT FREE WITHOUT A CARE CAUSE THAT IS WAY MORE FUN THAN ALL YOUR WORRIES UNDERNEATH THE SUN THERE’S SO MANY STORIES I’VE GOT TO TELL I GOTTA VOID TO FILL BUT DRAMA’S SUCH A BUZZ KILL LONELY IS A STATE OF MIND ONE I’M GONNA LEAVE BEHIND SO LET’S JUST DANCE AND WAVE OUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR LAUGHING SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS LET’S BE WEIRDOS, SHAKE IT FREE WITHOUT A CARE CAUSE THAT IS WAY MORE FUN THAN ALL YOUR WORRIES UNDERNEATH THE SUN WHOA, YA, UNDERNEATH THE SUN WHOA, YA, UNDERNEATH THE SUN THE SUN, THE SUN, THE SUN, THE SUN, THE SUN, THE SUN YA, OH, YA UNDERNEATH THE SUN
10.
BEEN SO BUSY WITH THE TAKE
 THAT I'VE FORGOTTEN HOW TO GIVE
 WHEN MY DEFENSES LEAD THE WAY THEY WAGE A WAR I CAN'T FORGIVE I BUILT AN ARMY OUT OF SHAME WHEN I WAS JUST A LITTLE KID
 AND NOW I'M ASKIN' IS THIS HOW I WANNA LIVE? BUT I SWEAR TODAY
 WILL BE THE LAST
 DAY THAT I LIVE
 MY PRESENT IN THE PAST
 I'LL MAKE FRIENDS WITH CHANGE
 MAYBE SHE'LL HELP
 ME TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH MYSELF I SPENT A LOT OF TIME WITH HATE 
 SHE NEARLY BROKE MY BACK
 I BUCKLED UNDERNEATH HER WEIGHT
 BUT SHE HELD ON LIKE A CHAMP
 WHEN I TRIED TO SHAKE HER LOOSE
 SHE CALLED HER OLD PAL, FEAR
 AND TOGETHER WE MARCHED ON ANOTHER YEAR BUT I SWEAR TODAY
 WILL BE THE LAST
 DAY THAT I LIVE
 MY PRESENT IN THE PAST
 I'LL MAKE FRIENDS WITH CHANGE
 MAYBE SHE'LL HELP
 ME TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH MYSELF LONGING TO FEEL
 THE FREEDOM THAT WARMS ME LIKE THE SUN
 GENTLE VOICE AND OPEN ARMS
 TO HOLD ME, YA, TO HOLD ME – IT'S TIME TO OPEN UP THE SHADES
 LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND DECIDE
 IF THE WAY I HAVE BEHAVED 
 IS ENOUGH TO SATISFY
 LIKE A BABY BIRD, WHO SPREADS HER WINGS TO FLY
 I MIGHT FALL DOWN BUT I'LL NEVER STOP TRYIN' BUT I SWEAR TODAY
 WILL BE THE LAST
 DAY THAT I LIVE
 MY PRESENT IN THE PAST
 I'LL MAKE FRIENDS WITH CHANGE
 MAYBE SHE'LL HELP
 ME TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH MYSELF BUT I SWEAR TODAY
 WILL BE THE LAST
 DAY THAT I LIVE
 MY PRESENT IN THE PAST
 I'LL MAKE FRIENDS WITH CHANGE
 MAYBE SHE'LL HELP
 ME TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH MYSELF

about

A collection of songs about falling down, healing, self-discovery and gratitude.

credits

released March 1, 2016

Produced by James Benedict Thomas and Julie Neumark
All songs written and performed by Julie Neumark
All instruments played by James Benedict Thomas except track 6, upright bass played by Pete Orlanski and track 9, upright piano played by Anne Siedler
Vocal Sound Engineer (all tracks except 5, 6 and 8), Pete Orlanski
Vocal Sound Engineer (track 6), Annmarie Cullen
Vocal Sound Engineer (tracks 5 and 8), Julie Neumark

Special thanks: To all of my challengers, supporters and giving trees. Thank you for helping me grow into my own.

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about

Julie Neumark Los Angeles, California

Hailing from Cincinnati, OH, Neumark moved to LA to pursue an acting career but her love of music soon won out. After the release of her Roots Rock/Alt-Country "Dimestore Halo" (Lonesome Day Records), she followed the demand of her fans in the Southwestern United States and in Europe (Hyena Records) where she has toured twice in The Netherlands as the support act for Beth Hart (“LA Song”) ... more

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